“Now I have all the dates I want!” How adverts have been making us feel shitty for decades

7 Dec

It seems fitting that I stumbled across these vintage ads the same day I learnt that H&M has admitted using fake bodies in its online swimwear and lingerie galleries. Yep, they’ve created a computer-generated body and super-imposed models’ heads on to it, changing the skin colour to match. Because even professional models are apparently not perfect enough these days.

But now feast your eyes on these retro ads for weight-gain products (I think they actually mean ‘boob gain’ seeing as all the models still have teeny tiny waists). See, the media and fashion industries nowadays use subtle, sneaky manipulation to warp your body image and make you feel worthless, but back in the good old days they didn’t bother with any of that smoke and mirrors stuff – they just straight out told you that you were too ugly!

Hmmmm, I can’t actually decide which is worse?

Images courtesy of Retronaut

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Happy 1st December: A quick advent calender project

1 Dec

Happy December everyone – let the countdown to Christmas commence!

Here’s a mega-quick advent calender craft project which took me about two hours yesterday.

Yup, it’s made from 24 matchboxes. As a stroke of luck, Swan sell their matches in packs of 24 to supermarkets, so if you can get your friendly shop assistant to part with the box they come in it makes a great stand to stack your little drawers  in. I decorated mine with some gift wrap scraps and drew on the numbers and pictures with Crayola metallic pens.

My design is quite simple, and there are lots of variations on the matchbox calender floating around online – I particularly like these ones!

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How I tried – and failed – to become a morning person

1 Dec

I have always struggled with not being a ‘morning person’. I am addicted to the snooze button, only ever able to drag myself out of bed until roughly ten minutes before I leave the house. I’ve come up with all manner of time-saving activities, from doing my make up the train to eating breakfast at my desk, that will grant me a few extra minutes in bed.

But my love affair with lie-ins always leaves me feeling hugely guilty. In my imagination, the ‘morning person’ exists as the epitome of everything I should aspire to be. I imagine she has glossy hair, a spotless flat, a collection of herbal teas, a regular gym habit and fabulous baking skills. She’s kind of like Nigella, turned up to 11.

I can’t help wondering how much more productive I would be, how much healthier, how much of an all round better person if only I could rise at the crack of dawn, consume a breakfast of poached eggs and spinach, fit in a gym session and an extra hour of work before my colleagues roll into the office. But no. I can only ever muster a tap on the snooze option.

My boyfriend, however, doesn’t ever think twice about lounging in bed for as long as possible. Comatose he will lie, snuggled under the duvet, rising many hours later with nothing to say other than: ‘That was lovely!’ So when I tell him my plans to transform my life with daybreak alarms, he’s not amused.

‘So, you’re going to wake us both up at stupid o’clock with your alarm, and then do what exactly?” he asks, bemused.

‘Oh, loads of stuff!’ I say, breezily. ‘Fit in more work. Go to the gym more, get really healthy, maybe even do some cleaning. I’ll be like a different person!’

‘Hmmmm,’ was his only answer.

So off my alarm goes earlier than usual one frosty Autumn morning. I glare at it, angry that it’s forcing me out of my lovely soft bed. It’s bloody freezing in the flat, so I slip on my massive dressing gown and start to ponder what to do with my extra hour-and-a-half.

I figure the best way to spend an early morning is cooking a nice breakfast. So I make a big bowl of porridge, and eat it whilst thinking how I could’ve just bought some from the office canteen and had it at my desk.

Then I do my make-up, which I usually do on the train. I pray there’s something really interesting in the Metro this morning, otherwise I’m going to be massively bored on my commute.

I manage to catch the train half an hour earlier than usual, and seem to spend the extra time faffing around with my emails before the rest of the office wanders in. The rest of the day meanders on as normal, accept for one unexpected event. I hit a massive wall at 4.30pm.

Normally I saunter through the afternoon with perfectly reasonable energy levels, never having to reach for the caffeine. But today I’m yawning all over the place, struggling to keep my eyes open as the pixels on my computer screen start blurring.

I slump back home and swiftly pull on my PJ’s before collapsing, motionless, on the sofa. So, my first day of being a morning person, and my hair is not any shinier, my workload not any lighter, and my body definitely not glowing with health and radiance.

Maybe, it seems, being a morning person is one of those things you think will transform you – like expensive clothes or a better job. But it doesn’t. You’re still  just you, but with an earlier alarm and a tendency to start feeling sleepy at 4.30pm.

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Sexist online abuse: Why it’s not just bloggers that are targets

10 Nov

There’s been a lot of discussion online over the past week about the sexist abuse female bloggers put up with from internet trolls. It all kicked off with an article by Helen Lewis-Hasteley in the New Statesman asking female writers for their experiences, carried on to a panel discussion in The Guardian, and has been covered by dozens more bloggers and columnists.

Internet trolls: Definitely not as cute as this...

We all know that anyone expressing an opinion on the internet – male or female – is likely to receive insults and abuse of some kind. Some people take the cloak of anonymity as a green light to act like a prize twat and say things they’d never say to someone’s face.  But females, particularly ones writing about politics or feminism, seem to encounter a particularly nasty, sexualised, gender-based strain of abuse.

Sometimes you’ll get called ‘Ugly’, ‘Lesbian’, or ‘Hairy’ (as if not being attractive automatically makes everything a person says worthless and their opinions invalid). Other times it gets far more sinister – many female bloggers have reported finding rape and death threats in their inboxes.

I wanted to add my two cents about my on experiences of online harassment to highlight the fact that it’s not just bloggers that are targeted. If you’re a female involved in politics or campaigning in any way, be prepared to become a target. Personally, the worst abuse I ever encountered was when I was volunteering for all-female environmental campaigning group Climate Rush.

Vile messages were often left on our Facebook page, one particularly nasty one that sticks in my mind is: “You’re not real women – real women are to be respected, all you lot are good for is to be f***ed in the **** and left for dead in the gutter.” Once someone got hold of a member’s personal email address and sent her an anonymous message calling her a w**** and threatening to throw sulphuric acid in her face.

On top of this we had a lot of “Who’d wanna shag any of you lot?” and “You’re all hairy lezzers!” type comments, which to be honest I find pretty funny, especially as I’m neither a lesbian or particularly hairy (and even if I was, so bloody what?). I also think that if you’re going to use childish insults against me then you obviously don’t have a single well-formed argument with which to disagree with me. However, the actual threats of violence were terrifying. Knowing someone had got hold of one of our personal email addresses (which wasn’t publicly available), and contacted us anonymously, did make me question my safety and if what I was doing was worth it.

I also am certain that we received these comments and threats because of our gender. I’ve seen male bloggers and activists called many things online, but they are usually non-gender specific insults, such as ‘naive hippy’, ‘dirty hippy’, or even ‘d***head’ (yep, internet trolls are such wordsmiths). I have never once seen a man told he should shut up because he’s ugly and no one wants to sleep with him.

Looking back, I think the threats did make me more nervous about expressing my opinions about certain subjects too strongly online, and caused me to take a more softly-softly approach. People abuse and harass in this way because they want someone to shut up, and I’m sad to say that, for me, it worked for a while.

But now, hearing all the women speaking out recently has been really inspiring, and made me realise how important it is that we keep exposing these cowards (because that is what they are) and don’t waste our precious time getting distracted and engaging in discourse with them and, most importantly, don’t let them shut us up. If we want to change all those awful stats, like the fact 4/5 MP’s are still male, then we need to rally against this because I strongly believe it is putting young women off engaging in politics, writing and campaigning.

I’m not sure if censorship/ greater moderation is the answer. The internet is too wild a beast to tame, plus shutting these people up often adds fuel to their fire, causing them to shout “but it’s my freeeeeeeedom of speeeeeeeech, you evil fascist censors!”. I also think taking away anonymity is a massively dark pathway that we really don’t want to walk down. However, I think some kind of ‘naming and shaming’ blog to post abusive comments on could be good, if only to show other women who are receiving harassment that they’re not alone and to provide help and support.

Some people have suggested that the women speaking out at present are ‘belittling’ the abuse the abuse that men receive. This isn’t the case – I am sure some prominet male campaigners and writers receive some very nasty stuff. But this is a subject we can only talk about our own personal experiences of and, in my case, the worst abuse I have received is gender-based, so this is what I am going to talk about. If you are a male activist/ blogger fed up with the harassment you receive, then by all means blog about it, write about it, tweet about it – no one is stopping you!

All in all, I think the best way to beat these trolls is to ignore them, carry on writing, working together and supporting each other until we become a force and voice significantly stronger than them. Hopefully our voices will one day drown out theirs.

Want to read what other writers have been saying? Hannah Pool at The Guardian has written about the racist and sexist abuse she receives as a black writer, Suzanne Moore has detailed the harassment she’s received even before the days of the interwebs, Sianushka has written about the the various forms of sexist online abuse and the excuses people make for them, and Cath Elliott has detailed the horrific comments she was subjected to earlier this year, and how she dealt with them.

(Picture by Cali4beach, shared under creative commons)

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Confessions of a quilting virgin: An easy peasy quilt project

23 Oct

This weekend I embarked on a new project – a patchwork quilt to cover mine and the boy’s new, extremely cosy double bed.

I’ve always loved quilts, especially when they’re made of gorgeous fabrics and look all snuggly and warm. However, some designs can be incredibly intricate and complicated to make. So for this project, I’m aiming to create the simplest – yet most awesome-looking – quilt possible.

There are two main types of quilting techniques – machine stitched and hand stitched. Machine stitching is suitable for regular square or rectangle-shaped pieces of fabric. Hand quilting is suitable for hexagon shapes, which are generally too fiddly to sew by machine.

Hexagon quilting, via Pinterest

As I am attempting to create the world’s simplest quilt I am, understandably, going for the machine version. So the first step is gathering together a selection of gorgeous fabrics.

Now this is possibly the most fun part, picking and choosing different contrasting and complimenting colours and patterns. However, if you are massively strapped for time, it is possible to buy sets of fabric squares that have been specially selected to make a lovely-looking patchwork pattern.

I picked up a set from Country Threads in Bath, a specialist quilting shop that stocks some amazing fabrics. I chose vintage-style florals and prints in blue, red and grey, as the boy and I are both fans of the shabby-chic look.

However, please be aware that, although this may be the simplest way to make a quilt, it’s probably not the cheapest! My set cost £9 for 42 5×5 inch squares, so you could source fabrics yourself much cheaper. But I’m going for the time-saving approach!

My quilt squares all laid out

The next step involves fussing over all the different squares and figuring out which ones should go next to each other. This took me longer than I anticipated as the red squares really ‘popped’ compared to the others, so needed careful arranging.

Sewing the strips together

Once you’ve decided on your square arrangements, start sewing them together in long strips. It’s a good idea to keep your seams all the same length so that the squares join up when you sew your strips together.

One finished strip!

Ta da! If you’re in a bit of a hurry/ have a shaky hand, which has resulted in uneven or wonky seams, then try not to worry too much. You can always arrange your strips so that the squares are staggered, which should hide any mishaps.

Next step will be to stitch them all together, then add some snuggly filling, backing fabric and a border. I’ll post my final results and the second part of this how-to soon!

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Kirsty’s Handmade Britain: Kirsty Allsopp’s crafting for TV

20 Oct

I can’t help but find something immensely irritating about Kirsty Allsopp. I don’t know if it’s her lecturing in interviews about how women should ‘put their man first‘. Or if it’s the way the she pronounces ev-er-y syl-la-ble so pre-cise-ly. Whatever it is, I find something a little too skin-crawlingly twee about her.

Anyway, following on from her craft/ thift programme a couple of years ago, Kirsty’s Homemade Home, she’s back with a new show: Kirsty’s Handmade Britain (Wednesdays, 8pm, Channel 4). Having missed her first series – and heard mixed reviews – I decided to put my prejudices to one side and check out how Ms Allsopp would be presenting the world of craft to the Great British Public.

The basic premise of the show is that Kirsty attempts to ‘master’ a different craft each episode (this week was baking, next week it’s papercraft), taking lessons from the experts, and then entering a competition to test her new-found skills.

Now, this premise immediately irritated me, and this time it had nothing to do with her syllables. One of the most off-putting things about craft to outsiders is the misconstrued notion that it’s difficult, complicated and takes ridiculous levels of skill.

Of course, if you’re attempting to make an entire Autumn/ Winter capsule wardrobe then you will need to know a little more than a basic straight stitch. But if you just want a new hobby and to express your creativity, then piling on this pressure to get to ‘expert’ standard is just going to suck all the enjoyment out of it.

The programme is essentially turning fun activities into competitive sports. It just all feels a bit uncomfortable and stepford wives-y, as exemplified by one 26-year-old competitive baker Kirsty meets. “I’m a perfectionist,” she giggles, daintily icing her cupcakes. “My mum’s ones are better than mine. I’m not happy, I might have to re-do them.”

Personally, imperfections and inconsistencies are my favourite things about handmade items, and not just because it makes me feel better about my shaky hands and impatient attitude. In a digital world so full of perfect, mechanical reproductions, seeing the individual marks and mishaps is almost comforting, as well as interesting. It gives them a story, a history, a personality.

One redeeming feature is the appearance of Gary, a 40-something biker who in his spare time loves baking courgette and chocolate tarts. It’s great to see a bloke rocking such a traditionally female pasttime, and his creative concoctions prove how exciting and experimental the realm of the handmade can be.

Anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts on Kirsty’s endevours. Do you think she’s doing the craft world justice? Or just pandering to old stereotypes?

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Craft book alert: The BUST DIY Guide to Life

6 Oct

There’s been a slew of contemporary craft books popping up recently, such as Jazz Domino Holly’s Queen of Crafts and Lauren O’Farrell’s Stitch London. But the one I really can’t wait to get my hands on has to be this: The BUST DIY Guide to Life.

If you a) have a vagina and b) have never managed to pour your eyes over a copy of BUST magazine, then I implore you to hunt one down as if your life depends on it. This piece of amazing American ingenuity is quite possibly the coolest, smartest women’s magazine you’ll ever read. It’s one of those titles that irritating journalists refer to as ‘sassy’ or ‘full of attitude’.

It is also credited – usually by those same irritating journalists – as having ‘spearheaded the craft revival’. Co-founder Debbie Stoller wrote the Stitch’n'Bitch books, and the magazine has featured craft projects since its early days.

This new book, consisting of 250 projects collated from the mag, seeks to set forth the notion that DIY is a way of life, not just a hobby. So it’s not just about crocheting pretty birds and baking cupcakes (although those are both pretty fun), it’s also about fixing your bike, growing your own vegetables or even starting up your own craft business.

Thanks to its scarcity in the UK my collection of BUST back issues is far from complete, so I can’t wait to get my hands of this amazing-sounding collection of projects. And if you’re in the US, the authors are launching a book tour later this month – a must-not-miss!

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