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Goldielocks vs The Dolly Rockers…

You might have seen rumours flying around the twittersphere on Goldielocks‘ beef with The Dolly Rockers (no, I hadn’t heard of them until now either), and now Goldie has set the record straight on her blog about what went on…

Ok, now I don’t condone shouting insults at strangers when drunk – she was lucky she was on stage in an, errrr, ‘upmarket’ establishment or she could’ve had a few handfuls of those goldie locks ripped right out. And also, insulting people can kind of hurt their feelings, yeah? But apart from that, I agree with every point she makes. I’m actually dumbfounded that, now us girls can get an education and become CEOs and whatever the fuck else we want to do, the women celebrated in the media are mostly banal, hypersexualised and praised more for their boobs than their brains.

There are loads of girls out there, like Goldielocks, who are smart and funny and using their talent and brains to acheive success and do something worthwhile instead of just flashing their baps. But they’re not the ones the media pays any attention to. No wonder those surveys come back with schoolgirls saying they’d rather be glamour models than doctors or teachers when every time you open a magazine or turn on the TV you’re bombarded with the message that the absolute most important thing for you to be, as a female, is sexy and attractive to men.

No doubt there will be replies of ‘oh but it’s empowering to dress up all sexy and get attention, plus they’re making loads of money yeah?’, just like the women who go to pole dancing classes like to claim it makes them feel empowered. Well if it’s so damn empowering, why don’t you see men doing it? The images of male power in the media are not topless boybands thrustings their crotches at the audience (they just get laughed at) but politicians and high-ranking businessmen – people who have gained power from talent, drive, ambition and brains, not from making themselves sexually attractive and available to the opposite sex.

Plus, the idea that being sexually attractive bestows power on you is a total oxymoron. Power, by it’s very definition, stands on its own, not on another person’s terms. Think about it: it is the person looking at you who decides whether you are attractive, whether they want to bang you or not. They bestow the label of sexual attractiveness on you – you don’t create it yourself. They decide whether you are sexy – the power lies with them, not you. The minute they change their minds – poof! – your allusion of power is gone. True empowerment happens on your own terms, not someone else’s.

But, having said all that, there is something Goldielocks gets wrong. She describes The Dolly Rockers as a band, and says they perform songs. I disagree. Watch the video below – seriously, what the fuck is this? How is this even music? It looks like Girls Aloud doing a Devvo impression. I’m guessing it might be a joke, but then again I’m normally kind of smart and understand jokes whereas I don’t understand this one fucking bit. Can anyone explain?

And now, as an antidote to all that nastiness, here’s Goldielock’s (fucking awesome) choon, Smash & Grab…

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